Vows & Vines

Pairing the ketubah and the cabernet

Last weekend, Betsy and I found ourselves back on the road, this time to Napa for Emma and Julian’s wedding. It was our third celebration in three weeks, and sure, getting there meant planes, rental cars, and wrestling with the insufferable SFO. But honestly, what’s the point if we don’t make the effort to be with the people we love? There’s something deeply fulfilling in those miles, something that reminds us we belong to a larger circle, and it’s worth every moment.

My friend Mori Taheripour often reminds us, “Bring yourself. Be totally present.” So that’s exactly what we did. We arrived not merely as guests, but as witnesses to Emma and Julian’s joy. We were there to cheer, to celebrate, and to hold space for this new beginning.

With Brian and Linda

I’ve known Emma’s dad, Brian, since junior high. Back then we were careless and carefree without any thoughts of vineyards or varietals in Yountville. Now we found ourselves amidst rolling rows of cabernet, marveling at how time both stretches and shrinks, binding us into a deeper web.

Sunday brunch and getting ready to hit the road

I didn’t know Brian and Linda’s circle well at first beyond another junior high classmate, but over the past months they opened their home for showers, engagement parties, and birthday gatherings. Each invitation wove Betsy and me more tightly into their community, laying the groundwork for this weekend’s nuptials.

And then, a few months ago, Brian told me Emma wanted me to sign her ketubah ,marriage certificate, just as I’d signed Brian and Linda’s over thirty years ago, something I had candidly forgotten.

In that moment, I flashed back decades: signing their marriage certificate long before I ever imagined life in a wheelchair, before engaging in para-sports, before speaking on stages, and before writing these words. To be invited again, this time for their daughter and new son-in-law, drove home the power of continuity and connection.

Because community is really a series of invitations, big and small, each one quietly asking us to show up for each other. It’s by accepting those invitations, by packing our bags, gathering our hearts, and bringing our fullest selves, that we keep our promise to stand together, undiminished by distance or distraction. And when we answer that call, the gift we give is immeasurable.

Channeling my inner Don Johnson. No cigarette boat required.

Emma and Julian, thank you for reminding us why we make the effort. Thank you for filling that Yountville estate with unshakeable joy. And thank you for teaching all of us what it means to bring ourselves completely, joyfully, wholeheartedly into the circle of community.